Photo by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash

We are putting Black Women on pedestals only to tear them down when they don’t meet our expectations.

Today Simone Biles withdrew from the Olympics. She said:

“Whenever you get in a high stress situation, you kind of freak out,” the 24-year-old told reporters. “I have to focus on my mental health and not jeopardize my health and well-being.” (CNN )

This echoes the voice of Naomi Osaka in the tennis world wanting to take a step back as well for her own mental wellbeing.

Now I am hearing the really gross ideas that are being pedaled after these two…


This is my pep talk to myself and to you (whoever reads this) to not rage quit everything when it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Photo by Ricardo Viana on Unsplash

You heard it here first folks. When I’m doing my job amazingly, my relationship is great, I’m cooking dinner, my journal entries aren’t just hell-filled rage pits, and I am showering, life is good. However, when I am not getting work turned in on time, I have turned into a rabid raccoon in my relationship, McDonald’s is for dinner, my journal entries are incoherent satanic incantations, and I’m using wipes instead of showering. Then it’s time to quit life.

I had a great conversation about that the other day. I used to be really suicidal. My mom couldn’t keep me…


Hello self,

So your job isn’t as easy as you thought it was going to be. You have ups but also a lot of downs. You feel overwhelmed and your still depressed. Your getting that itch you usually get when your mental illness kicks up and tried to find reasons to leave. Yes, others make money as a writer. Yes, impulsive decisions are often the ones that lead to the desire to achieve your dreams. But we’ve seen this movie in your life before self. You quit a job, work on your writing make a small amount of money once…


I feel so drained. My burnout has reached new elasticity and my super black woman powers have reached a new high. We are now in a whole new form of carrying the world on our back. It no longer even feels painful. It just feels like it is what is expected and needed from us. As they accept and obsess over us more and more there isn’t a rest or reparations that we get. There is only more riding us into the ground and making us ride each other into the ground under the guise of mentorship. We are killing…


So obviously I’m going through something. Some might astrologically call it a Saturn Return, others may call it a quarter-life crisis. Some might even go as far as to test the theory that I just survived a global pandemic and late-stage capitalism is trying to make us forget our troubles and spend without thinking about what just happened. But those people are just speculating right?

Anyway. There is a moment when you are entering your 30’s when you begin to realize that you are not immortal as you thought you were. You used to stay out until 4 AM and…


What is this feeling? It’s Sunday morning and you are wracked with anxiety. Your mind, body, and spirit, are filled with it. You had plans today to do some self care and make the transition into tomorrow as seamless as possible but you can’t now. It’s too late. Back to physical work you go.

I love being in person at my job, but I hate and dread the commute, and being in person at my job. Does that make sense?

I love it and I hate it equally. Making eye contact is making me sweat. The other day I over…


Listen you disgusting grazing horse creature. You had a good run, Soaking up that unemployment. You were freely grazing possibly living your dreams for once. You were maybe doing horse work things from home. You were possibly just living off the fat of this good old American land not thinking about your old Uncle Sam. You were smoking that horse reefer and being lazy.

I don’t care if this is partially true, and you were actually homeless and or mourning the loss of loved ones. I don’t care if there has been a “collective trauma” you sound like a quack…


6:00 AM all the cats have decided to start screaming all at once. The birds are screaming. The sky is screaming. Someone outside is screaming at their partner, and I feel like I should join in the cacophony of chaos with some screams of my own.

I open my window to let the feral cats know they need to shut up and get cool about a lot of stuff really quickly so I can go back to sleep. The sibling strays we’ve been nursing back to health stare at me for a moment and then go back to what they…


I am drowning in it. I put my metaphorical harmonica to my lips and begin to play my sad tune.

The dramatic song of the girl who could have been somebody, but her mental state is fragile she never will. She can’t achieve her dreams. She’s not even sure what her dreams are anymore. She tries to think of a memory where there was joy but all she can feel is that those moments were covering this manic depressive ocean.

Her whole life has been swimming emotionally upstream while being abused and mistreated by strangers, friends, and family. She doesn’t…


And my mental illness is much like Kanye West triggered by social media, but I also have a problem with not wanting to be forgotten by my friends and family so I don’t quit social media. Also isolation triggers my mental illness even more so it’s really complicated.

(I also don’t want to say which mental illness I have because it’s super stigmatized and I know that once I say it, it’s a whole can of worms)

So I’m off my meds, my therapist is a white man who told me he finds me “stimulating” and I am just winging…

MorganJade

A deep feeling, oversharing, storytelling, kid from Oakland running around believing in fairy tales.

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