1. Tom Foolery
2. Insecurity about creating things
3. Not wearing pants for zoom meetings because when you stand up you still aren't wearing pants and that is a problem.
4. Letting the pandemic amp up agoraphobia.
5. Fear of speaking because you feel you have nothing to say
6. Not stepping back because you feel your opinion is the only one that matters
7. Workaholism
8. Obsession with American Exceptionalism
9. Turning unwilling kids into memes.
10. Making Tik Tok videos where the participants all look like they've been kidnapped and forced to dance with you because you are trying to gain clout and you need to be seen.
11. …

Remembering the Ma$e song today. Breathe, Stretch, Shake. I used to listen to it when I was a kid. I would think about dogs, and how they are always shaking. I genuinely thought that the lyrics were in reference to animals shaking off water, or bad experiences, little did I know they were needed for humans too.

I’ve always been depressed. It started when I was 6 years old. Suddenly the whole sky went from color to black and white. In an instant, I was beyond aware of everything. My grandmother, my first best friend, had died and I was…

I don’t want my friends online to see me right now. I used to be thin, whatever that means. I look nothing like the profile pictures of my past. I feel nothing like them either. I did a project recently with some students of mine. The project was creating a personal slideshow of your own life. Your friends. Your family. How you feel. And I felt numb. I felt broken. I wanted to hide. My friends have all changed and for many of my friends I personally feel freaked out about my past behaviors. I want to go on an…

Jimothy was a young boy. Who played baseball, and sounded like Prince Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender. I had loved him from the moment I saw him in the 4th grade. He was so interesting with his baseball playing and his voice and his tracksuits his mother made him wear. I on the other hand was an interesting case. I played video games, wore cargo pants and giant hoodies, and would wrestle anyone who was ready. But I did love Jimothy. He was so sweet and so special. So! …

Well. It turns out the election looks scary. The country may not be recognizable. Folks are not adhering to social distancing orders, and Chipotle is late with your Door Dash meal. That’s it. Time to move to Amsterdam. Time to reinvent yourself. Time to get an artist grant, cry about it and leave communities in need behind. Weren’t you just marching for black lives two weeks ago? Weren’t you just tweeting about kids in cages? Didn’t you say you would tear the fabric of reality apart of RBG was replaced? Didn’t you join an antiracist book club and proclaim that…

Since we just like to fetishize blackness and nothing else. Since we don’t want to hear anything else from black people but their struggles. Since we don’t care about their existence or anything else they write that doesn’t pertain to their pain. Here we go. Here are some black girl confessions. Some hot steamy sexy dark scary black girl confessions. Some dank pregnant in a back alley statistic naming black girl thoughts. Let’s do it.

I have never liked watching Martin

I don’t like my food too spicy

I don’t have hot sauce in my bag

My anger comes out…

The word God. It is so heavy. When I think of the word God, I think of lies I’ve been told. I think about the hatred of self. I think about families being torn apart. I think about genocide in his name. I think about him. A man. A face. Whiteness. A flag. A burning cross. A bomb. A gun. A hood. Violence. Destruction. Abuse. Rape. Excused. I think about the way people say thank you to this man so flippantly after an Oscar win. I think about the way people sprinkle this commercialized idea into conversations. I think about…

CW: Suicide mentioned & attempts

I had a terrible headache this morning. I couldn’t move. I get migraines sometimes. They are debilitating. I tried to stand up but I couldn’t. I wanted to get medication but I couldn’t even move. I was getting scared. I every time this happens I fear the worst. My anxiety ramps this up to a full on tumor really fast. I usually start hyperventilating, but this time the most peculiar thought came into my mind. It felt like another voice other than my own. The thought said.

“Poor thing.”

It was was said in such…