A letter to the Feral Queen Cassandra

Cassie, Cassandra, Queen Cass,

You came into our lives and blessed us with a magical liter of kittens. You have been a green eyed joy. You have been anything but unlucky though European legends would say otherwise.

But today is the day. Today is the day. Two liters later you need this. Your body needs to be neutered.

This is not a betrayal. I want you to know. Your emotions are raging. You are wondering where your babies have gone. You feel as though you have lost everything and that no one sees you and cares for you, but we do.

I was hesitant to do this, but after further research I’ve seen that if you keep giving birth at this rate your risk for cancer goes up and your life expectancy can go down. Also the stress of being in heat on your body takes a huge toll.

As I see you searching for your kittens who have now gone to an amazing foster mama down the street, trust and believe that when you come back from being neutered we will continue to take care of you. This backyard is forever yours. For as long as you are here we will love you.

I know you don’t keep score or grudges as an animal but I just want you to know that I love you. And if I had the funds and the independence I would have adopted your entire family and kept you and your little ones so healthy. I wish I could afford my own space so I could just lavish you and your kittens with the finest of foods and the best of spaces.

But I currently can’t. So I must let you all go. It’s kind of weird how attached I’ve gotten to you and your kittens over the past few months. Waking up early to the ritual of feeding. Having you go from hissing at me, to calmly staring at me when it was time to eat. You are a beautiful creature.

I keep having strange dreams where you had the mind of an indoor car, and you would be with me. I’ve had dreams of holding you in my arms and watching movies while it rained outside.

I know that we are friends in a distant kind of way. In a way where you see me as a food dispenser and I oblige. So please take this food which is in a cage right now and eat it. Know that it is for your own good. Know that after being neutered the hormones won’t rage anymore and the pain will end. You will be able to exist not for the purpose of procreation but as your own person or cat, or whatever. Not having to lug litter after litter in your belly, but to have your own purpose.

Hopefully, someday soon you will be able to come closer to us. That the trauma of existence won’t be so great and you will be able to act upon your curiosity. I cannot wait for that day, but until then. We will keep you alive and love you the best way we know how.

Hope you can see that soon.

Sincerely,

Your eternal human servants.

A deep feeling, oversharing, storytelling, kid from Oakland running around believing in fairy tales.

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