Black Girl Confessional

Photo By: Muhammadtaha Ibrahim Ma’aji from Unsplash

Since we just like to fetishize blackness and nothing else. Since we don’t want to hear anything else from black people but their struggles. Since we don’t care about their existence or anything else they write that doesn’t pertain to their pain. Here we go. Here are some black girl confessions. Some hot steamy sexy dark scary black girl confessions. Some dank pregnant in a back alley statistic naming black girl thoughts. Let’s do it.

I have never liked watching Martin

I don’t like my food too spicy

I don’t have hot sauce in my bag

My anger comes out in tears not in the base of my voice.

I try to use a blacker voice when applying for jobs so I sound more downtrodden. It makes white people feel safer honestly.

Talking about police brutality all the time actually gives me severe anxiety which makes me physically ill so I don’t do it anymore.

I don’t have black superwoman complex. I have black and mentally ill having psychotic episodes in the bathroom complex.

I don’t have any good magical negro advice. My advice is shit. Don’t take it.

I don’t know any songs by: Aaliyah, TLC, Run DMC, 21 Savage, So many other gatekeeping artists and if I say I do, I’m lying so I won’t get my black card revoked.

I can’t dance. Seriously. Never have been able to. I’m like Mary J. Bilge times 40.

You will never find me in the club.

I haven’t seen like 90% of the black movies everyone quotes online.

My hair isn’t curly enough to be apart of the cute quirky curly gang but not kinky enough to be apart of the activist hardcore kinky gang so like 4c.5 it’s confusing.

Every time I do the electric slide at a wedding I have an existential crisis.

I feel like if I were more conventional in my blackness, people would find me more exciting.

But I also like my privacy so it’s cool being not exciting.

So here they are fresh off the presses for your white eyes only. Some fresh hot exotic thoughts from an American born 100% negro girl. Be sure to tip your online black pain peddlers so we can pay rent. And maybe check out our work that isn’t about the pain of our black existence. Check out our twitch streams. Check out our songs about walking to the park. Check out our writing about religion. Maybe that will help you see us as human and not just objects of your white guilt. Kay thanx byeee.

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